What's Good For The Goose
"Aaron, what would you say if I told you I wanted to drink a Red Bull every
day." Sam crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.
"What would I say?"
"I guess I'd say that that is an odd choice since I know you hate the things.
What's this about Sam?" I couldn't help grinning at him.
Sam frowned at me and started pacing back and forth by the kitchen cabinets, he
seemed to be considering what to say. "Okay, say I was overweight and I wanted
to smoke cigarettes to help me lose weight. What would you say?"
I looked at him perplexed. "I'd say that that is a particularly bad idea and
doesn't sound like you at all."
Sam stopped pacing and faced me, still with that frown on his face. "What would
you do if I was determined to smoke anyway?"
I had no idea where he was going with these questions. "Sam, what are these
hypotheticals in aid of?"
I could tell he was trying very hard to look stern. "Will you please just
answer my question?"
"Okay...., so, if you said you still wanted to smoke cigarettes after we had
Sam lifted his head and looked me in the eye. "Exactly. Would you paddle me if
I still did it?"
I was appalled. "NO! For heavens sake Sam, you're a grown up, you make your own
choices. Now, if you smoked and wanted to stop and asked for my help then that
would be another thing altogether."
He faltered a bit. "So.... you wouldn't care if I smoked?"
"Yes I would care. I would care very much. And you certainly wouldn't smoke in
the house or car. Sam, please, I'm not enjoying this conversation, where are
you headed with this?"
Sam looked thoughtful but there was a glint in his eye. "I'm considering asking
you to drink your coffee outside the house."
"What?" I asked laughing.
Sam uncrossed his arms and recrossed them, I could tell he was determined not to
grin. "Well, it's the same thing, you know I don't like you drinking so much
coffee but you do it anyway."
Sam had mentioned a few times that he thought I drank way too much coffee. I
agreed, actually, but so far hadn't been concerned enough to change my habits.
"Why are you bringing this up?"
He looked very serious. "It worries me. Heart disease is a killer. It's not good
Fair enough, I thought. "All right, I didn't realize you felt so strongly.
What if I work on reducing the amount I drink?
"Yes please." He gave me a mischievous look and his lips twitched like he was
trying not to smile. "Do you want any help? I could provide some motivation.
You know that paddle has two sides."
Two can play at this game, I thought. "I think a paddling would work wonders."
Sam's expression changed completely from mischievous to horrified. He uncrossed
his arms and took a step backwards and started stuttering. "What? I was
kidding. Aaron, are you serious, I mean, ...... I guess, if you REALLY wanted
it and needed it, oh my God, what am I saying? I could never do that, I just
couldn't, I can't even believe you said that. Aaron, would you really, ummm, do
you really want that?"
It was very difficult not to laugh at his horrified expression. I waited a few
moments and then said quietly, "no, not if it makes you uncomfortable." Sam
stood there staring at me with his mouth open. I continued, "however it's true
that I never want a cup of coffee when I am watching that fine ass of yours turn
from creamer white to blushing red. I just thought paddling you might help me
with my motivation."
Sam narrowed his eyes. "You are a wicked wicked man. You did that on purpose."
I laughed. "Perhaps, but actually it's quite true. Hmmmm... I'm starting to
crave a mug of coffee right now. What do you say Sam, a little help please?"
He smiled back at me. "Oh, I'm always glad to lend my support. But, I have
also been thinking that you need lots more exercise than you are currently
getting. What do you say we kill two birds with one stone?"
And he was off, running and giggling, pulling down his shorts to tease me with a
glimpse of his beautiful backside. My heart that he worries about nearly stopped
as I was suddenly overwhelmed. My Sam. He loves me! Wonder of wonders! How did
I ever get this lucky?